Cleaning Out the Young-Mommy Closet

When my son was about 9 months old, we were slowly preparing to move from one apartment to another and I did NOT want to bring any unnecessary junk with me in the move. I started looking up articles for cleaning out your closet and home, and for tips on how to move with as little stress as possible. I found plenty of tips and articles about moving with kids, but so many articles about cleaning out your wardrobe did not seem to factor in motherhood!

The classic question that all the articles seemed to ask was: "Have you worn it in the last 12 months?"

Well... my body was very different 12 months ago... pregnancy tends to do that. And then breastfeeding also changed both my body and what I could practically wear for about 9 months, so... no, I have not worn this in the last 12 months. But that doesn't feel like a fair question.

Ok then, a potential follow-up question that I attempted to ask myself: "Did you wear it in the 12 months before that?"

Well, self, that's also an unfair question... How should I know if I wore it 18 months ago? I don't even remember what I ate yesterday or the last time I washed my hair...

Most articles that I read (and my attempts to interpret them to apply to my situation) left me still feeling directionless and then also reminded me of my body-image and identity-related insecurities. So, I decided to create my own standard that I could apply to myself for the next few years... One that factored in my new-mommy, pregnant, post-partum, anywhere-in-my-young-motherhood-journey status. It was helpful for me in our move, and has been helpful for me since (when I actually find the time to try to sort things... which makes sense to me to do when most of my laundry is done... HA. Good one. I actually kind of like my uncleaned-out-closet because it allows me to go longer without doing laundry, even if I don't like what I'm wearing... *facepalm*).

Either way, I decided to post this in the off-chance that it will help someone else, and also to make it easier for me to find this list in the future.

So, here goes, questions to ask yourself when trying to clean out your closet in young mommyhood...

“Do you like it?”

Yes, it's nice to be able to go deeper and deeper into your closet so that you can at least change out of your pajamas in the morning while your laundry remains dirty. HOWEVER, it's really not worth keeping if you don't like anything about it.

“Do you legitimately hope to wear it again?”

This is a really hard question for me to answer. But worth trying to answer. If you know for sure you won't, then it's probably time to let it go. (Note: Read the typical exceptions to this rule from the clean-out-your-closet articles, like your wedding dress).

“Is it damaged in a way that takes more than 10 minutes and more than 50% of your attention to fix?”

If yes, it's not gonna happen. Unless you have a brilliant, loyal, serving seamstress friend who's dying to help you out somehow. And you know she'll ask you. Odds are good that I would never remember to ask (or would feel too guilty if I did remember).

“Does it stain so easily that you never wear it for fear of staining it?”

Something like this I won't even wear on a date night because I'm too stressed about it, so it's not worth it for me to hold on to.

Give it to someone who can handle easily-staining-clothes in their life.

'“Is it already stained badly enough that you don't wear it, but you're holding on to it because of the happy memories it brings of a time when you could actually wear white clothes?”

It's hard, but let it go.

'“Does it make you feel either attractive or comfortable?”

If yes to either, I say keep it. If it does both, then buy 2 more.

“Is it maternity/Post-partum useful and you aren't pregnant but are hoping/planning for another pregnancy sometime in the relatively-near future?”

If yes, put it in a maternity box!!

I know some people just want to get rid of stuff as soon as they know they won't wear it for the next year, and more power to those people. If you're one of them, then go you and your minimalist, disciplined lifestyle. I, however, am not one of those people. Things I really like and am convinced I will wear again I don't want to get rid of and then have to buy again later.

If you aren't planning to use the article of clothing again but you really like it, pass it on as a hand-me-down (if it's the kind of thing that can be handed down).

If you aren't planning to use it again and don't care, then get rid of it in whatever way you feel like.

“Is it practical for breastfeeding or chasing kids?”

I had to come to grips with the fact that for the next 7-10 years my world has no space for super cute, sparkly, silver, way-too-tall stilettos. As much as I would like to say I'll wear them on the [rare] date night out, in reality my feet already hurt enough without pulling crazy stiletto nonsense.

If it's not practical for your life stage and that life stage is likely to last more than 3 years, then it's reasonable to get rid of it.

“On that note, does it remind you of simpler days when your body was more your own and you possibly felt more comfortable in your own skin BUT you know you'll never wear it again?”

There are probably many of these things in my closet. They're hard to let go of because they feel like I'm further letting go of part of my identity. Make a box of all of these things that you don't throw away until you're emotionally ready for it... In my case, that won't come without some help so I've decided that I will get rid of these things at a time when I know I will be able to slightly pamper myself right before or right after (having an hour of alone time, getting my nails done, buying some sweet or drinkable treat... something that reminds me that I'm still an autonomous human being, and not just an incubator or a milk machine) FOLLOWED by an intentional special little moment with my little boy (taking a walk, crawling around together, baking together, drawing together, singing together, reading together, sword fighting together, dancing together, etc) to remind myself of how worth it the identity change/crisis is.

This is my limited wisdom from a combination of first pregnancy, post-partum, mommyhood to a toddler, and second pregnancy thoughts. If anyone has additional wisdom PLEASE share it with me. I need it! But please share it nicely! I'm hormonal and I cry easily even when I'm not hormonal.